i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
