I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
