This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Randomize
