Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize