So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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