Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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