I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I seem to have left my pride at pride
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
