i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
and you fell through a lawn chair
Congratulations! We have a period
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize