It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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