I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
