remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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