Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Randomize
