the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
