I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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