You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
NoShamevember. You game?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
