I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
A bitchslap is in order.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
