She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
