Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
