Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Duck Duck Cougar?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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