there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
