Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize