i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
