Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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