Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
