Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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