I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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