I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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