I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
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