you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
