In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
