one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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