my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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