I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize