Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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