i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
