she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
