If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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