i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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