Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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