It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
