I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
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