I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
