my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
