is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
