i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
