My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
