My nipple is on Facebook.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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