why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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