My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
