Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
