can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Who put my cat in the fridge?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
