mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
please don't ironically join a cult
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