I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize