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There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I still have a little drunk in my system
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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