his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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