Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
