Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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