New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I believe in your delicious
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
