Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
How does one acquire holy water?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
