I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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