her vagine was all disorganized.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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