Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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