Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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