Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
