She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
