Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
