Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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