i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
