but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
