i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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