yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize