Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
