Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
